Doubt, Fear, And Dark Days

I am tired. Tired of winter and long dark days, outside and in. Tired of waiting for good news, and receiving rejections. Tired of trying to believe in possibilities and forcing optimism.

And of course, when you’re tired, it leaves the door wide open for those buggers doubt and fear. It lets them sneak up on you and seep like grease stains into all aspects of your life. One rejection becomes a rejection from the world. Which is ridiculous, the logical part of my brain knows, and yet it’s the reptilian part, all that doubt and fear taking control, that whispers bad things.

It would be easy, ever so easy to just step away. To say I’m “taking a break” and slowly, without quite realizing it, just stop writing. It would start with one skipped day – you know, the kind you can “catch up on.” Then it would be another, because you need to be kind to yourself. And then a week or two missed. And then a month. And suddenly, you’d find you hadn’t been writing anymore. That it had all dried up.

And so, on days like that, on days like THIS, it is even more important to sit down in front of that computer, to put the fingers to the keyboard and ignore all those nasty whispers, and just write. Write if you are tired, write BECAUSE you are tired. But just keep writing, words in the dark, words to yourself, words to prove those whispers and the reptilian brain wrong.

Thanks for reading, and hope you’re having a brighter week with melting snow and hopes of spring. 🙂

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